Having Faith In Yourself

Good morning/midday!

  I wanted to write about something that has been on my mind of late. Something that has been percolating around and has caused me to search out for advice and help for the past few years. 

Though I have been a practicing witch for the past 25 years (26 this summer, wow), and am dedicated to the goddess in general, I have suffered from self doubt because I have not had the opportunity to study with a coven.

  My studies have been solitary and my pagan library is extensive. My charm (what are now called mojo bags) work is very effective in particular. But yet I have had self-doubt. So much so that I reached out to a local coven with an interest in possibly studying to join, though they are more than 30 minutes from my house. 

  When you have two small children, work full time (12 hour days away from the house) with a disabled husband and an elderly mother you take care of, that type of thing ends up being unlikely to happen because I cannot make the consistent commitment the coven deserves. It was hard to break off that attempt.

  But I kept thinking about it. And Morrigan kept whispering, and Freya kept talking to me, and Danu and other gods all telling me the same thing. I always have more to learn, I more than know that, and love to learn more. But, I know more than I realize and need to trust that. 

  My knowledge lies in charm-work, spirituality, energy-work and healing by hands (if I would just trust myself). I have these strengths and these skills that I have used for literally decades. I could write about my experiences with spirits and how my charms have helped solve problems. 

  The fact is, I do not have the money to take classes. I do not have the time or the space in my life for a coven. And I need to realize that I am enough.

I need to stay open to learning
Open to listening.
Open to feeling.
Open to seeking.
Open to finding.
Open to leading.
Open to following.
Open to searching,
For the path lies within.

Teaching Children About Energy

My youngest daughter has sensory issues and during this school year has been telling us that her tummy hurts when she is at school. 

After much inquiring and different types of questions, I believe I figured out that most of her tummy problems has to do with her level of stress. The kids are loud, there are around 18 other students, not to mention the teachers and aids. That is a lot for her. 

Add to that the fact that she has trouble trying new food so hates most of the food at school, and I cannot send her to school with a bag of chips for lunch (sigh). 

But her sensory issues also reveal that she is extremely sensitive to energies. 

Last night, I had her hold her hand up and put mine near hers and asked her what she felt.

"It's warm and it tickles, mommy!" She laughed. She wanted to do it again and again, then she held her hands together and made that connection that she could feel it then too. I told her that was her energy and that it is all around her. It comes up from the earth and goes down from the top of her head. 

Everyone has this energy field, and my daughter is so empathic that hers gets disturbed by others very easily. So my goal is to slowly introduce energy work to her, since she can feel this energy herself. I discovered it when I was about 13, myself, without anyone else showing me, and have been manipulating it around myself and grounding or expanding it to send energy as needed.

I am hoping that I can teach her how to ground the extra energy that is pooling in her stomach and making it hurt into the earth or into a tree. She liked the idea of hugging a tree.

The next step will be to work more with her on mindfulness. She is only seven, so I need to remember to take it at a pace that is manageable for her age. Remember, children are not little adults. They are at stages of understanding that do not match adults, so take it slow, keep it simple, and repeat as needed. 

Most of all, have patience, work on keeping your energy at an even level while you are helping them. If your energy spikes, the child will feel it if they are sensitive. I went through that trying to teach my oldest daughter how to knit (oh dear), I would get frustrated and my energy would spike. She would feel it and get discouraged even faster. That was my fault.

So anything you teach a child, remember that it is not about you, but about the child.

Will it help them,
Will it hurt them,
Are you staying calm.

Good luck to you and me!

Yule Song - Sing to Oh Holy Night

I love to take lyrics and change them to something else. And I thought, why not do it for christmas songs. The melodies are really lovely so often, so why not take the words away from Oh Holy Night and make my own song. Sing it to the melody. I may make a youtube video of it at some point.

Oh Night So Dark

Oh holy night, the stars are brightly shining

It is the night, oh the night of rebirth.

Night covers the world and friends come together

As we pass through this longest night to light.

A fire is kindled in hopes that light renews

Our love in each other holds us through a new morn.

Raise up your hands

Join hands in hopeful casting

Oh night so dark

Oh night, when light returns

Oh night, return, oh night

Oh gods of rebirth.

A comfort in friends as we make it through the dark

The sun will rise upon our tired faces

Welcome the dark

Don’t fear the gods who dwell there

Oh night, so dark

Oh night, when light returns

Oh night, return, oh night

Oh gods of rebirth.

My Depression

Disclaimer: This is not an attack on people who take anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds, this is my story only.

For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why 9 years old was the year specifically for me for when depression hit me and I wanted to die. For when I started to bleed pain and literally felt like I had nowhere safe to go.

But as I have become an adult and a mother to two daughters, I realize that at 3, my mother and father divorced, and at 9, my older sister decided to start being physically abusive towards me. The bottom kept dropping out for me and suddenly, I had nowhere safe to go.

My grandparents lived in town, but as close as I seemed with my grandmother, it was at arms length. I knew that my job was to not mess up the one place I could go that my sister couldn't attack me at. So as my grandmother taught me how to play the piano by writing the notes in her hymnal, I made sure the quiet pedal was always pushed down so I wouldn't bother her or my grandfather when I practiced. 

At an early age, I learned that I wasn't safe around other people who were supposed to love me unconditionally. 

At an early age, I learned to be quiet and listen more than be heard.

At an early age, I learned that I could only rely on myself.

No wonder I have actually ran from healthy relationships (bolted as fast as I could) and felt like pain was leaking out of my wrists like they were sliced up. 

As a mother, my goal was to make sure that I was loving them unconditionally, and not letting my oldest daughter be physically abusive towards her little sister (boy did her attitude appear when she turned 10-11 though, she is mean sometimes without thought, just reaction). 

I have realized that because I don't trust people, I love to be alone. 

My depression isn't like a cloud over me, it's like a cloud around me that is most often thinner, but sometimes thickens and darkens. Especially in the week before my period. But if I make sure that my sense of self is not clinging to that blanket of darkness, I can sink below it and literally find myself.

This is where Buddhism has helped me more than Wicca, or Witchcraft. Buddhism helped me find my center and helped me to ground, which opened me up to more witchcraft in the end. Being mindful of each step, of trying to release any unhealthy attachments (and the guilt that comes with that). 

If you suffer from depression, don't avoid the original reasons. Seek therapy, turn it around in your head. If the origin occurred when you were a child, be angry, be strong in that anger that something happened to you that should not happen to a child. 

But most of all, be kind and loving to yourself. Hug the echo of that child that still exists and cries inside you. Hug that child and hug yourself. Because until we learn to kindly love ourselves, this world will not improve.

So mote it be.

Finally Figured It Out

Disclaimer - This is all based on my personal experience and is not in any way meant to be an insult on anyone's weight. This is how I feel about my body and who I am.


When I graduated from high school, I weighed between 90-95 pounds and was 5'6. I was skinny. Like stand up and get dizzy, everything going black for a second dizzy. It was wrong. 

I did gain some weight as I went into my 20's, but just enough to be healthy. Nothing crazy. Then I went on the depo provera shot and shot up to 150-160. This was jarring and I felt heavy, but I also felt depressed from the shot and some life stuff.

I got off the shot, and lost a little bit of weight, fixed my life stuff (not in that order necessarily). Then I got into my late 20's and had my first daughter. Oh my sweet angel, when I gave birth to her I had gone up to 190's. Afterwards I waffled back down to 160s and 170s. Then 4 years later, I had my second daughter and went to 207 at the time of her birth, and afterward went down to the 190s.. And stayed there.

Since then, I am literally not happy looking in the mirror because it didn't look like me. But who did I look like? And why did it bother me? I was a strong woman, I carried heavy stuff, went up stairs without too much of a huff. Was this fluffy person who I wanted to be? Why couldn't I be happy with my reflection? I hate sweating. I hate exercise (obviously). And I loved sugar haha.

Today I had a doctors appt for migraines, I had a whopper of one last week, and I weighed in at 199 pounds. 

So I had gained 109 pounds in the past 20 years. 

I don't want to be that too skinny girl again. But I don't want the rolls my stomach is turning into. 

Ever since Morrigan (hard and fast) and Lugh (gently but firmly) have been walking into my life, I have felt the call to be a warrior. Take that kickboxing class. Get a standing punching bag for the garage and go Buffy on it. I wanted to embody more strength as well as the softer sides to myself. 

 I am a mother. I have loved being a comfortable person for my daughters to cuddle with, but I also don't feel that I am giving a good example when my soul and gods are challenging me to step it up and let the warrior shine through. 

This won't be easy.

With having no thyroid, due to thyroid cancer, I tend towards fits of fatigue when I try to exercise. For example, I decided one day to go on a bike ride and got two blocks away before I had to get off the bike, turn around and walk it back, barely able to move for a few hours afterward. I can hoof it up three flights of stairs, so its not being out of shape, and it scared me.

But its time to push through.

Drop the soda.
Drop the chocolate except for treats.
Add a salad a day.
Start a walking group three to four days a week.
Go hiking when weather permits, love nature.
Do a few sit-ups, push-ups when I get up in the morning to give me some natural energy.

I can do this.

Lugh has told me I can do this.

Morrigan has told me to move my ass.

And they are right.

When it comes to being the Mother portion of the Maiden, Mother, Crone cycle, I have embraced it. The softness and the strength. But I don't want to look as soft anymore. I want to be more fit. More capable. More natural when it comes to my energy (less sugar, more endorphins). 

This is not an attack on anyone else's weight. This is a revelation that I have been coming too slowly. This isn't a diet I am starting, it is a folding into a way of life that I have been yearning for but afraid to start. For me. For who I am. I need to do this.

As I will it, so mote it be.

Talia Ravenspath

Who Do You Turn Too? And Why?

Life is so strange.

There are up's and there are downs.

There are times when we want to be with people and not be alone.

And there are times when we just want everyone to go away so we can hear ourselves just THINK.

Everyone has issues, everyone has problems. But what can we do to get through ours? It depends on the problem. 

Morrigan:
For some relationship problems, Morrigan has actually been by my side to give me strength and a little bit of snarkiness with backbone. It helped.

She can also help you open up your sexual side more, to be more daring and open to exploring your sexuality.

Morrigan is a goddess of strength and daring. She challenges you and others around you to be better.

Brigid:
Creative and warm, she will heal you if you let her. Brigid will drown you in a soft light that lets your inner child heal and transform to a more whole person.

Danu:
The mother goddess, another healing goddess that will unconditionally accept and love you, no matter what. Good to call on when your kids get to be that age (you know the age haha).

Lugh:
Creativity, warrior, laughter, sunshine. This god is great at a party, great to call upon when you need a sense of warrior that is less aggressive and angry that Morrigan can be, though they can come hand in hand. Also a great god to call on when you want inspiration for creation, break through that writers block with Lugh at your shoulder!

Just a few tips from my favorite gods that are whispering to me. 

Who are the gods you turn too? Why do you turn to them? What personality traits do you appreciate from them and why? What do you need right now?

Breath and be well!

So mote it be.

Tali Ravenspath

The Dark

Be not afraid
The dark surrounds you
Be not afraid
As it hides you from sight
Be not afraid
The dark is within you
Be not afraid
The dark simply holds you.




Talia Ravenspath