The following will be my notes and thoughts on what I am studying, Wicca book wise. The first book is When, Why,... If by Robin Wood (of Robin Wood Tarot cards). This book is all about the ethics of Wicca and the karma rule. Now if you haven't heard of that, it simply means that what you put out comes back to you times three. This goes for good and bad stuff, as well as stuff from past lives. But it is not as simple as to do no harm. Think about it, it also means to be careful what you do to others that you may not realize is harmful, such as love spells (that interferes with free will and can cause unhealthy attachments).
In this space, for now, I will be going through the questions at the end of each chapter. I strongly suggest you buy the book if you are interested, it is amazing and shocked me with how much I, at 38 years old who had been called to be a pagan 25 years ago at the tender and destructive age of 13 had already formulated these teachings in my head. I do not cast curses. I will bind people though and banish when needed, but rarely. I will NEVER do a love spell. Love starts with you, you need to love yourself until you shine. When you start to shine then you are going to shine so brightly that love will be drawn to you like a moth. But until you love yourself in a kind and compassionate manner, any love relationship you have will not be as healthy as the one you could have if you healed yourself first. You shouldn't try to force love. If it isn't happening, there is a reason.
The first set of question is about Honesty.
It is interesting that this is first, after all, doesn't any study of ethics start with an honest look at ourselves? But this isn't a pull the blinds away and lay bleeding look, but an honest look that is also compassionate and kind. But deep.
What is honesty? Honesty is knowing yourself, and knowing how you affect others. Honesty is knowing the difference between helping and harming yourself and others.
This whole chapter is mainly about being honest with yourself. Who are you and what your strengths and weaknesses are.
The thing I am most likely to be dishonest with myself about is...
This is a hard one. I am likely to be dishonest with myself about how my role has contributed to issues in a relationship. I tend to try to fix everything, fix other people, balance and harmonize what I can so everyone is happy (I'm a Libra...). But sometimes my own actions and inactions can cause issues in relationships and for myself.
Perhaps the deeper truth here would be, is that I am either/or. I will either blame the other person or blame me. Having the middle ground is hard for me sometimes. This is interesting and I am glad I thought of it. I am very reasonable, but once my emotions get pricked into rising too much, it is like the tide that doesn't turn haha. I specifically am not always honest about how much damage my own emotional self has on others and my relationships.
When I am dishonest with myself, it is usually because..
See last paragraph, it is because my emotional self is rearing it's head and taking over custody of my head for a time. My anger, depression or grief at lost opportunities can make it hard to see what I am doing and I can believe at times it is always the other persons fault, completely. But it isn't. I exist too and affect people as well.
I have no problem being honest with myself about..
My faults, I see them. Even when I have to apologize and I don't want too, I'm old enough to be able to move forward and see my issues. In fact, I probably put too much in them and rely on them as excuses. That is an interesting thought.
I can talk to anyone honestly about..
Anything. Honestly, I am a ridiculously open book that does not believe in TMI (too much information). Tell me what you want and I would prefer to talk about whatever I need too as well.
My self honesty rating:
Oof. Hmm. Well, let's go for 7-8. I do not imagine that I am completely honest with myself, I still have issues. But I've gone through quite enough to see myself pretty clearly in different lights. I know my faults.
Why this rating and not a 10?
First of all, I'm only human and hardly perfect. I do believe that anyone who says they are a perfect ten in the self honesty rating is probably (haha) lying to themselves a little. I do believe it can be more subconscious, though. Things that come out that we aren't quite equipped to be honest about.
In a year I would like to be (rating-wise):
Between 8-9 would be nice. :)
I am trying for this rating because:
I think it's realistic, especially with these studies and how my life goes. My life can be very chaotic at times, but all I can do is keep looking inward when I can and be the best person I can for myself, my family and the people around me.
Honesty is important because:
Kindness without honesty is simply fake attitudes. It isn't read kindness. Honesty is important because the first person we should know inside and out is ourselves. Not our kids, not our significant others, but ourselves. Once we know ourselves and are honest about our issues, we can be our best selves. This is so important for me as a mother. If I wasn't honest, my relationship with my oldest daughter, which is rough with her being 11 years old, would be a disaster. Knowing myself I am able to not take offense at her lying. I remember what it was like to be 11 years old.
I know what it was like to be a younger sister, like my youngest daughter is.
I know what it is like to want to be loved. So first I have gotten to know who I am. From the echoes of the children I was, all the way to the adult woman I am now typing this out. Each one of those echoes makes up who I am. Each of their mistakes, their fears, their loves, their pain. Being honest with myself as to my flaws what I want out of life is important because without that we cannot connect to others in a a meaningful manner. To be real. To be soulful.
On the mega-antimega continuum, where do you fall? and why I say that.
This is hard, because I am a caretaker. Sometimes I am all about me, and yet so much of my life is in trying to take care of others and not take care of myself (case in point, the times I go to the store for food and buy food for everyone but myself.... haha).
This is also hard because, I have realized in reading this that my reaction is different for different people (and also depends on my menstrual cycle.. sadly). With my kids, I tend to be probably a 6. With my husband I outwardly often look like a 5-7 but inside I am often a 10 haha (overreacting).
If I can calm myself and stay grounded, I stay a 5. This is me in an emergency situation. If someone is hurt, if a toddler stepped into an elevator and is going down alone (yes that happened at a place I was working, not my kid lol). If my kid falls down the stairs.. ok, maybe not this last time I freaked out haha. If my mother falls down, I'm pretty stable and able to deal with it.
In all honesty, I'm all over the place. There really are times when I am right smack in the middle and able to react in a completely calm and understanding way, with love, from the center. But most often I am all over the place. It really is a constant struggle, even if it doesn't appear so.
I want to change because:
Yes, I do want to be calmer. Though, I will say in response to always being calm that sometimes I just have to let loose and say nope, not gonna happen in a firm, slightly raised voice lol. But I would like to be more calm more often. I would like to accept my life as it is and see the good in it more than I do. I would like to breathe more.
And honest self-balanced self image would include (for me):
In this space, for now, I will be going through the questions at the end of each chapter. I strongly suggest you buy the book if you are interested, it is amazing and shocked me with how much I, at 38 years old who had been called to be a pagan 25 years ago at the tender and destructive age of 13 had already formulated these teachings in my head. I do not cast curses. I will bind people though and banish when needed, but rarely. I will NEVER do a love spell. Love starts with you, you need to love yourself until you shine. When you start to shine then you are going to shine so brightly that love will be drawn to you like a moth. But until you love yourself in a kind and compassionate manner, any love relationship you have will not be as healthy as the one you could have if you healed yourself first. You shouldn't try to force love. If it isn't happening, there is a reason.
The first set of question is about Honesty.
What is Honesty?
So simple, right? But there is different types of honesty. Blunt types, cruel types, soft types, kind types, healing types. What is honesty? Is honesty always telling the truth, no matter who it hurts and how harshly it may come across? Some of us know people like that. Is it ethical? I don't think so. As a trained therapist, I cannot help but believe that honesty can be loving, kind and starts with us. It starts with us being honest about who we are, what we want, and where we are in our lives.It is interesting that this is first, after all, doesn't any study of ethics start with an honest look at ourselves? But this isn't a pull the blinds away and lay bleeding look, but an honest look that is also compassionate and kind. But deep.
What is honesty? Honesty is knowing yourself, and knowing how you affect others. Honesty is knowing the difference between helping and harming yourself and others.
This whole chapter is mainly about being honest with yourself. Who are you and what your strengths and weaknesses are.
The thing I am most likely to be dishonest with myself about is...
This is a hard one. I am likely to be dishonest with myself about how my role has contributed to issues in a relationship. I tend to try to fix everything, fix other people, balance and harmonize what I can so everyone is happy (I'm a Libra...). But sometimes my own actions and inactions can cause issues in relationships and for myself.
Perhaps the deeper truth here would be, is that I am either/or. I will either blame the other person or blame me. Having the middle ground is hard for me sometimes. This is interesting and I am glad I thought of it. I am very reasonable, but once my emotions get pricked into rising too much, it is like the tide that doesn't turn haha. I specifically am not always honest about how much damage my own emotional self has on others and my relationships.
When I am dishonest with myself, it is usually because..
See last paragraph, it is because my emotional self is rearing it's head and taking over custody of my head for a time. My anger, depression or grief at lost opportunities can make it hard to see what I am doing and I can believe at times it is always the other persons fault, completely. But it isn't. I exist too and affect people as well.
I have no problem being honest with myself about..
My faults, I see them. Even when I have to apologize and I don't want too, I'm old enough to be able to move forward and see my issues. In fact, I probably put too much in them and rely on them as excuses. That is an interesting thought.
I can talk to anyone honestly about..
Anything. Honestly, I am a ridiculously open book that does not believe in TMI (too much information). Tell me what you want and I would prefer to talk about whatever I need too as well.
My self honesty rating:
Oof. Hmm. Well, let's go for 7-8. I do not imagine that I am completely honest with myself, I still have issues. But I've gone through quite enough to see myself pretty clearly in different lights. I know my faults.
Why this rating and not a 10?
First of all, I'm only human and hardly perfect. I do believe that anyone who says they are a perfect ten in the self honesty rating is probably (haha) lying to themselves a little. I do believe it can be more subconscious, though. Things that come out that we aren't quite equipped to be honest about.
In a year I would like to be (rating-wise):
Between 8-9 would be nice. :)
I am trying for this rating because:
I think it's realistic, especially with these studies and how my life goes. My life can be very chaotic at times, but all I can do is keep looking inward when I can and be the best person I can for myself, my family and the people around me.
Honesty is important because:
Kindness without honesty is simply fake attitudes. It isn't read kindness. Honesty is important because the first person we should know inside and out is ourselves. Not our kids, not our significant others, but ourselves. Once we know ourselves and are honest about our issues, we can be our best selves. This is so important for me as a mother. If I wasn't honest, my relationship with my oldest daughter, which is rough with her being 11 years old, would be a disaster. Knowing myself I am able to not take offense at her lying. I remember what it was like to be 11 years old.
I know what it was like to be a younger sister, like my youngest daughter is.
I know what it is like to want to be loved. So first I have gotten to know who I am. From the echoes of the children I was, all the way to the adult woman I am now typing this out. Each one of those echoes makes up who I am. Each of their mistakes, their fears, their loves, their pain. Being honest with myself as to my flaws what I want out of life is important because without that we cannot connect to others in a a meaningful manner. To be real. To be soulful.
Self:
On the mega-antimega continuum, where do you fall? and why I say that.
This is hard, because I am a caretaker. Sometimes I am all about me, and yet so much of my life is in trying to take care of others and not take care of myself (case in point, the times I go to the store for food and buy food for everyone but myself.... haha).
This is also hard because, I have realized in reading this that my reaction is different for different people (and also depends on my menstrual cycle.. sadly). With my kids, I tend to be probably a 6. With my husband I outwardly often look like a 5-7 but inside I am often a 10 haha (overreacting).
If I can calm myself and stay grounded, I stay a 5. This is me in an emergency situation. If someone is hurt, if a toddler stepped into an elevator and is going down alone (yes that happened at a place I was working, not my kid lol). If my kid falls down the stairs.. ok, maybe not this last time I freaked out haha. If my mother falls down, I'm pretty stable and able to deal with it.
In all honesty, I'm all over the place. There really are times when I am right smack in the middle and able to react in a completely calm and understanding way, with love, from the center. But most often I am all over the place. It really is a constant struggle, even if it doesn't appear so.
I want to change because:
Yes, I do want to be calmer. Though, I will say in response to always being calm that sometimes I just have to let loose and say nope, not gonna happen in a firm, slightly raised voice lol. But I would like to be more calm more often. I would like to accept my life as it is and see the good in it more than I do. I would like to breathe more.
And honest self-balanced self image would include (for me):
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