Birthday Post (TW mental health)

Today is my birthday.

I turn 38 years old. 

Nothing about aging really bothers me all that much. I don't mind the gads of gray hair I have, and love dyeing it blue for fun. 

But each birthday, except for last years, I feel horribly depressed, tearful and weighed down. 

So I'm trying to figure out why.
I have a good, reliable, job. 
My husband is a good guy and things are ok there.
My daughters are awesome (well, one is, the other is starting to become an evil preteen).

Sure, I live paycheck to paycheck, but, this is something that has been there each birthday for as long as I can remember... Except for last year. Last year I spent the weekend, and my birthday, at the beach. For hours. It was everything you could imagine it could be.

But today I'm at work, trying to not cry. 

People on Facebook are sending me happy birthday messages, and yet nothing helps. I just want to crawl in a whole, pull a blanket over the top of it, and cry until its over.

Why?

There are a lot of possible reasons.
Shitty childhood.
Genetics.

You know what? Next year I am going back to the beach, alone. I love my family, but I need that day to be away from people who rely on me and have a one day a year where I do something just for me. Every year. Just one day. Because I felt peaceful last year. I felt happy. I felt content.

Goddess, Danu, mother of all.
I call to thee to help me get through this day.
So often, I am a mother to all
It wears on me and empties my cup.
So please give me this day.
Give me this day to feel the caring sent my way.
Give me this day to realize that feeling.
Help me, Goddess.
Danu, help me.

As I will it, so mote it be.

I'm off to do some self-Reiki healing. :)

Be Well!
Talia Ravenspath

Mother to All

What a month this has been!

Between my children going back to school and my husband having some back trials, I have felt all a-whirl.

But what should arrive in the middle of all of this chaos? My Danu statue at the soon to be closed pagan shop (already mourning the loss of that space). 

Stock photo of my own statue.

What was so timely about it was the fact that I had been feeling very much like a mother to all. I was being pulled into so many different directions that Danu's arrival was not just physical, but spiritual as well.

Danu
Mother to all
Protector
Wise one
Help us carry our burdens
Step by step through this life.
Help us be our best mothers
As we raise our children in this life.
Help us to be our best partners
As we walk with in this life.
Guide us to be warm
Guide us to be wise
Guide us to be accepting
Guide us to be calm.
As I pray it
So mote it be.

Some gods come charging in, like Morrigan, who is more demanding all the time. And others come sliding in quietly, like Lugh and Danu. 

When you are ready to commit, they are ready to guide.

Be Well!
Blessed Be!
Merry meet again!
Talia Ravenspath